1. |
Spring in Kondinin
02:26
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It was the fourth day of spring in Kondinin
When i disobeyed my grandfather’s teaching
see the cold-blooded creatures had risem
and resumed sunbathing, signifying sin
See in my family its gospel from pulpit
never to divert for the sake of a beast
but in the heat of the moment i faltered
swerved from the path of the serpent beneath
and i knew then
that the wisdom that i professed
was but a thin ribbon of flesh
layed in the path of an implacable test
on the fourth day of spring in Kondinin
I committed my grandfather’s cardinal sin
and i thought of my wandering digits
grasping at wholeness beneath the linen
and i knew then
that the righteousness i possessed
was just weakness poorly dressed
the veil unraveling with the slightest stress
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2. |
Half-Moon Whispered
02:52
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I picture you as a child of eight
bossing round tradesmen at your mother’s place
this is the image that comes to me
when I’m trying to tease out the causes and faults
damping down my heart’s thousand tiny revolts
this is the image that comes to me
i picture you as a girl of eighteen
setting off solo all bright-eyed and keen
this is the image that comes to me
when i’m out on the road i’m retracing your steps
recalling your advice while planning what’s next
this is the image that comes to me
it pursues me across deserts and plains
every road-sign spelling your name
i picture you as i knew you, age twenty eight
knuckles on my thighs at a post-breakup date
this is the image that comes to me
when i torture myself til i ache in my longing
when desire eclipses any nod to belonging
this is the image that comes to me
it pursues me across deserts and plains
every road-sign spelling your name
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3. |
Paper Shields
02:57
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still trying to strike some balance
between toy arrows and paper shields
my sadly undermanned phalanx
and the slings and bows you wield
i default to self-abasement
heap my stooped figure in blame
build a pyre of skewed remembrance
cast this likeness to the flame
but it really doesn’t matter
who was right or who was wrong
because baby
i’m gone
it’s true i’m a kicked creature
slinking low across the ground
a fading background feature
shrinking from the slightest sound
but by the same token you’re knife-edged
slicing careless thru the world
pushing since you were half-fledged
parting channels, sails unfurled
so which of us is culpable
for the webbing’s slow decline
the tangles unresolvable
the tattered, fraying twine
although the question is unanswerable
it pre-occupies my mind
i must stop sorting through the rubble
try my best to let it lie
and it really doesn’t matter
who was right or who was wrong
because baby
i’m gone
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4. |
Dead (or Resting)
02:48
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languid in heat
or withdrawn in the dry
vigour is so hard to gauge
lateral but growing
retreating in drought
clinging implausibly on
yawning troughs of longing
waves of relief cresting
out here it’s hard to tell what’s really dead
and what’s just resting
wedgetails and ravens
the only sign of life
and death’s clearest tell
laid out to rest
small things keep me awake
furtively rustling through
yawning troughs of longing
waves of relief cresting
out here it’s hard to tell what’s really dead
and what’s just resting
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5. |
Arboretum
02:40
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you’re gonna age like a banksia
and you’d tell me to fuck off if i ever bought your roses
you’ll grow withered and grey
your beauty changing
spitting in the face of the notion of fading
transformation
not disintegration
you alongside me
inosculation
and steadily we’ll grow together
grafting one another onto slick amber absence
thin barked and bolshy
willow and dogwood
cautiously discarding defunct notions of selfhood
transformation
not disintegration
you alongside me
inosculation
you and i gemels
sitting in a parlour
quietly re-dealing
through the afternoon
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6. |
Winter, Tennant Creek
00:50
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the first time i just left my license at home
nothing to be done about that
the second i made it almost all the way
before nearly backing into a fiat
the third i failed almost straight away
amber light turning right had me trapped
the fourth back home trying to go it alone
my reverse hill start falling flat
four failures
kept me here long enough
to fall this far into you
four failures
sent me fleeing back home to you
in Alice i watched my plans disintegrate
i just drank and wallowed in pain
in TC got so sick that i had to dry out
a week on the couch playing videogames
the work i’d applied for in Darwin fell through
i was forced to turn tail and retrace
my trail back south just to fuck around
and be swept to the coast on a surge of shame
four failures
kept me here long enough
to fall this far into you
four failures
sent me fleeing back home to you
every plan ruptured
i hurt everyone i touched
self-loathing and drunk and corrupt
and when it was all over
i was broke and tan and tough
and i went to the airport to pick you up
four failures
kept me here long
to fall this far into you
four failures
sent me fleeing back home to you
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7. |
Four Failures
03:18
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8. |
(angel)
00:19
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9. |
She Called Me Angel
01:30
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She called me angel
in better times
so i pass her words further down the line
her language lingers
in this heart of mine
and flows into you
as we grow more entwined
you’ll understand
when you love someone new
and you call them by
the name i held for you
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10. |
Lake Seppings Summer
01:56
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11. |
Forest
04:10
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Big wave
of crude washes down on me
topping
my car up from the jerry
saving
about 65 cents
panic
cold air and burnt coffee
jolt me
into life coasting down the
mountain
willing fumes to last me back to the
highway
to fill up continue on
further
from the place i feel i belong
right now
far from
the miseries of the
south coast
shit weather and introduced species
this climate allows for the
pretence
of old country village life
crowded
every inch of land
put to use
the forest
is the product of
excision
more than it is of
growth
negative space created by
vast fields
oversaturated gold
and verdant
european green
this town
offers up
this remnant
to a steady flow
of grey nomads
and sunday drivers
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e.s. hughes Perth, Australia
folk etc
(they/them)
photo by Emma Daisy
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